WorkStyle Tip - put down the stress

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water,you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home.You can pick it up tomorrow.Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can." So, readers, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

Thanks to Trevor Neroy for sharing this story with merrymentality.

Spotlight on... Katrina Hennig

My name is Katrina Hennig and I’ve just had my 29th Birthday, so effectively I’m in my 30th year of being – AAAGGGHHH!!!! I am a Finance Advisor, and have been for just over 3 years now. I work at my Brother Ross’ company – Lakeside Consultants – which is a Finance Consultancy business, based on St Kilda Road in Melbourne. I LOVE doing what I’m doing, but if I wasn’t doing this, you would find me on a golf course somewhere, which overlooked the ocean!

How would you define your WorkStyle? (work + lifestyle = WorkStyle®)
I would describe my WorkStyle as being a whole lot of Work, with not much Style! I am however getting a bit better at juggling, and hope to achieve a more balanced WorkStyle going forward. To this affect, I have started leaving by 5.30pm twice a week for personal training, and most weekends I don’t work – if I do, I try to work from home rather than going in to the office. In terms of Lifestyle I’m making a conscious effort to call family and friends every week or two just to touch base, and have just started playing competition golf on Saturday mornings at Peninsula Golf Course, where I’ve just become a member!

How did you discover your WorkStyle?
After a very rough time personally last year, and finally getting rid of the dead weight that was my ex-boyfriend, I came to the realisation that I didn’t want to wake up at age 60 and ask myself “what have I done with my life – where did it go?!” So earlier this year I wrote down all the things I want to achieve/do/see/experience/have before I'm old & grey!! Currently sitting at about 140, this list is based on my wildest dreams and is funded by all the millions in world; having said that, I believe that if you write your goals and dreams down, you’re one step closer to achieving them. So I’d like to think that I will be able to do ALL of the things listed (or a cheaper version if necessary).

Given this list is so big, and relates to things that are both Work and Style related, it’s meant that I’m putting more emphasis on the latter, which in turn will help with creating a better balance.

Has it changed over the last few years? Why?
Absolutely! I’ve always been a hard worker, and given 110% and then some. I’ve always worked long hours, and have no problem with doing that. When I become involved with my ex I found it very difficult to manage an appropriate balance between working long hours and having time for not only my family and friends, but my partner as well. That’s when I met Belinda and learnt about WorkStyle and realised I’d been running myself into the ground! At that point I took a step back and prioritised what was important to me. From then on I think I’ve managed to create a bit more of a balance, however it’s an ongoing issue that I work at, every week.

What has been your biggest shift?
Realising that I will never be able to finish all the jobs on my “list of things to do today” at work, and giving myself “permission” to leave early for the day, or the weekend, without feeling guilty!

What one WorkStyle practice has had the most impact? Why?
Creating my list. That has given me focus, it has inspired me, and makes me feel like I’m working toward a goal that can be achieved, rather than feeling like I’m floating and not knowing what I want out of life. For example, one of the items on my list is to re-decorate my house to make it a little more me. By working towards this goal, it has meant that not only am I working hard to make the money to pay for all my new goodies, but one of my close friends is helping me with the project, so we get to spend more time together!

What are or have been the biggest issues for you around WorkStyle?
Prioritising time for me! When I first listed my Roles and Goals with Belinda, I didn’t have a section for me. I always put everything and everyone ahead of myself, which is a detriment sometimes to me. It has been hard learning to say NO to people, and doing things that I want to do, rather than what other people want me to do. I still find myself saying yes to people and then thinking about it later and realising that I should have said no, but I’m doing that less and less, which is a good thing!

What tips would you give others to improve their WorkStyle?

• I encourage EVERYONE to write a list like I’ve done. Take your time with it – it took me one month to complete my first draft, and it will always be changing, with things being added and crossed off once completed.
• Put the list up on a wall where you can see it every day, so that you can stay on track.
• Sit down (when you’re doing above) and really think about what YOU want and where YOU want to get to in life – only you can live your life, no one else, and whilst it’s important that the people around you love you and are proud of etc, it’s YOUR life, not your parents!!
• If you don’t like the job you’re currently doing, LEAVE! There’s no point wasting time in a job that you hate – as they say, if you love the job you’re doing you’ll never have to work a day in your life – I’m currently doing this, and it’s a GREAT feeling! 

Smile

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. 

Update from Belinda

You may remember that the goals for my sabbatical were:

1. learn about philosophy (so I have hard books, audio books and of course TED clips)
2. learn how to surf (stand up on a board and ride a wave in)
3. learn how to cut up a pineapple in the Asian style (so I don't throw half the flesh out)

On top of these specific goals, the overarching intention is to rest, rejuvenate, recreate and relax and spend quality time with Don.

So how did I go?

Not only did I begin to learn about philosophy I was able to actually practice 'witnessing | observing' myself. It was truly powerful to notice my thought AND TO LET THEM GO. Not just in theory but in practice. Quite a shift for this WorkStyle Warrior.

I can now ride a wave (a little wave) into shore STANDING ON A SURFBOARD. This was so much fun and I was fortunate to have a teacher that use the ZEN or INNER GAME method of teaching so I could stand up and ride within the first lesson.

Yes, I sure can cut up a pineapple in the Asian style - I'm slow but can do it and it looks (and tastes) fantastic - my new party trick!

Don and I laughed and laughed (we had 27 years of stories to catch up on). We rested, rejuvenated and recreated. It was such a gift to have this time and I thank my clients, readers, colleagues and friends for supporting me in this project. So much so that I am planning on doing it again in 2010.

How to have less stress - delete your emails!

Returning from 4.5 weeks sabbatical, you can imagine the hundreds of emails in my inbox and the hours and hours it takes to go through these. Imagine the feeling of DREAD as I approached my office driving home from the airport knowing that as soon as I turn on my PINK Sony VAIO laptop I will be bombarded with screens and screens and screens of unread emails. Then the hours and hours and hours and even more hours of reading, replying, managing, filing, deleting emails. Was the sabbatical (or vacation or holiday) worth it for this?
Well, you are imagining wrong! I simply came home, connected my laptop - waited for all the emails to download and then I did it... I HIT DELETE! Yes, you read that right. I hit delete on my inbox and magically thousands ofemails disappeared in a minute or so!
 

So how did I get the confidence and the courage to hit delete?
Like most things it was not overnight. In fact it took months and months of preparation, planning, practise and finally execution. Here is the process:

• I read about someone else who had deleted their emails on their return from vacation - I realised there was an alternate and I might be able to do it too
• I'm a WorkStyle Warrior and this was warrior like!
• I practised when I went to Bhutan in May 2008
• this practise lead me to hone my email forwarding rules (some emails are automatic and need to be read such as from the Tax Office) to my Virtual Admin
• then I shared with my clients my fear and to manage their expectation
• finally I DID it!

So, I bet you are dying to know what the email said:

Thank you for emailing Belinda Merry from merrymentality; the Professional Coach's Business System; Towards Mastery; Vice President of the Asia Pacific Alliance of Coaches, and Immediate Past President of the International Coach Federation Australasia.

I am currently practising my WorkStyle on Sabbatical in Bali, Indonesia. During my time away I WILL NOT be checking my emails. On my return on Sunday 16 August I will DELETE the entire contents of my in-box, therefore PLEASE RESEND your email after this date. I will return to my office full time on Monday 17 August 2009.

In the meantime have a sensational day!

Warmly
Belinda
___________________________________________________________
Belinda Merry MCC
WorkStyle Warrior
work + lifestyle = WorkStyle
merrymentality pty ltd
www.merrymentality.com.au
www.belindamerry.com
www.towardsmastery.com
www.apacoaches.org
www.icfaustralasia.com

So there you have it. How to enjoy not only the preparation and execution of your holiday/vacation/sabbatical... but how to also enjoy coming home/back to the office and keeping that feeling of lightness, calm and relaxation you achieved on your break. My challenge to you (remember I'm a coach) is for you to manage your email in a relaxed way... perhaps you will do what I did, or you have another system. If so, please do share it with me... belinda@merrymentality.com.au